How can he be so selfish? He can clearly see how much pain he’s causing. Why doesn’t he care? I can’t take the stress any longer. He’s destroying all of our dreams. Our lives have become Hell. Isn’t he tired of living this way?
These are the typical thoughts that run through your mind when you love a person with a drug or alcohol dependency. You can’t understand why he continues on such a destructive path. Why does he make so many bad choices? Why does he cause so much pain to his family and loved ones?
It makes no sense that he continues to drink or take drugs even in the face of devastating consequences. He may know that you’re going to leave him, that his children are hurting, that his job is on the line, that he is about to lose everything of value in his life, yet he can’t seem to stop.
You get so angry because he obviously doesn’t care. You blame him for being weak. But this isn’t because he doesn’t care and it’s not because he’s weak, he is sick with the disease of addiction. All of the blame, guilt, and arguing in the world won’t change it. He needs help.
What are the Benefits of Our Alumni Program Atlanta?You expect him to ask for that help eventually, To seek it out once he hits “rock bottom”. You believe that if you keep pointing out his mistakes, reminding him of his failures, and laying on the guilt, he will snap out of it and come to his senses. Unfortunately, for many addicts it takes a tragic turn before they will reach out for help on their own, and sometimes, not even then.
You don’t have the power to take addiction away from your loved one, but you do have the power to give him a good push toward help. You can get educated on addiction, talk to doctors, and find a good treatment program. Once you’re ready, you can gather family and friends together and hold an intervention.
What are the Benefits of Our Alumni Program Atlanta? You can give him an ultimatum
An ultimatum if you’re serious and ready to follow through may be all that it takes to convince him to accept help. If you decide to hold an intervention, however, you must be prepared. An intervention is not a confrontation, but if handled poorly it can turn into one. The smartest way to hold an intervention is with the help of a professional. Once you find a treatment program they can assist you.
Before starting this process, you must be prepared to set healthy boundaries and stay strong. Helping a loved one with addiction is very different from helping a loved one with any other illness. Anything that you do in order to ease his pain will only extend the disease making it stronger. As long as you are going to be there to hold his hand, bail him out, fix his mistakes, and make life easier, he will never see the need to fight his disease.
That is why it is so important for families to understand the disease of addiction. The first step to helping your loved one is gaining knowledge. It’s difficult to help another person if you don’t understand the problem. That includes understanding what your role has been in enabling him.
In the process of learning about your loved one’s addiction, don’t lose sight of your own recovery and growth. By attending Al-Anon meetings, you can learn to make healthy changes in your family dynamic. You can gain strength and knowledge, not to mention the extra support of your group to help you through the rough times.
Even if you’re not ready to face your loved one with an ultimatum yet, now is the time to find a good treatment program. This can be a daunting task. If you wait for the addict to say he’s ready, in the time that it will take to finalize plans, he will likely change his mind. You’ll want to have everything prepared, so that when the time comes, there will be no delays.